tomorrow, tomorrow

Tomorrow is the first day of Pre-K for the school year. I am determined that this is going to be a good year. I hope that there aren't a lot of behavior issues, and that I can keep my sanity with parents this year.

My Grandma is going to Bluefield tomorrow to have surgery. Really hoping that everything goes OK with it and that she gets to come home soon. Mom will be traveling with her. I hope they stay safe and the surgery goes well.

Grad school is going to be tough this semester. I've got a lot of work coming up soon. Hope to get some of it done so I can enjoy the upcoming long weekend.

bad press

I have gotten curious recently about other school systems around the country due to all of the negative press that our state received this past legislative session. Currently we are supposed to have 180 days of school, we begin school on or around August 25, and end school by June 7th. Elementary schools currently open the doors at 8:00 AM and class work begins by 8:30 AM and the final bell of the day doesn't ring until 3:30, we are supposed to have children "engaged" until 3:15. At 3:30 children who are parent pick-up are dismissed and then bus students are dismissed shortly after. Teachers here have been called lazy, money hungry, and pretty much anything in between by the public in the newspaper. WV is ranked 49th I believe in teacher salary. Hearing all of these things I automatically assumed that other areas around the country must be keeping their children in school for longer than 7 1/2 hours and going longer than 180 days since their school systems are so much better than WV's. Like I said I decided to do my own research. *Disclaimer all info was gathered from school board websites which may not have been updated this school year* :-)

My first search was Seattle. Elementary schools run from 9:00 - 3:00, I am going to assume that means children are working from 9:00 - 3:00 not that they show up at 9:00 for breakfast, because 9-3 is only a six hour school day, take away thirty minutes for lunch and it's down to 5 1/2 hours of engaged learning time. I searched other areas of Washington state and it's the same thing 9:00 start time and 3:00 dismissal. And of course Washington state starts their teachers out on the high end of $30,000. Next search was Phoenix, AZ close to the same time frame elementary began at 9 and ended around 3 or 3:15. Next was NYC schools which unfortunately I couldn't find a time listing for any of their schools, possibly for security reasons, I don't know. Next was Savannah, GA they too began at 9:00 but went until 3:45. However I figure that their doors open at 9:00 for children to began eating breakfast and classes don't actually begin until 9:30. Finally I searched Denver, CO simply because I have had people in the past tell me how good Colorado schools were. I couldn't find times but I did find that they only go to school 172 days...8 days less than poor ol' West Virginia students.

What's the point? The point is that I know in WV how hard children are getting pushed to succeed, and they should succeed but at what cost? Are we turning them off from learning because we keep them in schools for almost a full 8 hours and then send them home with an hour or two of homework each night? Are more and more great teachers going to leave our state because we are expected to do so much and get so little in return? Doesn't a 9 -3 shift sound good, WITH summers off on top of that? I'm going to try to find some drop out rates for these areas and look at more districts to see how long they are in school during the day and school year. I would imagine there is a correlation between the way children get pushed during school especially at a young age and how many actually finish high school.

So that this doesn't sound like I am whining let me say this, I love my job. I love teaching even on the really bad, hard days. I love to see my students succeed at something they said the day before they couldn't do. I also love my state and my school. I just worry that instead of instilling a love of learning in students we are actually turning them off by the expectations we place on them as young as Kindergarten.

rambling

Grad school is over with for the semester. Thank goodness. I am not going to be able to take any classes this summer because Marshall is trying to keep me there as long as they can. Max and I are going back to Savannah this summer. We were going to drive cross country but we really don't have the money and I know we have been to Savannah before but I loved it there. I hope that Max and I can retire to Savannah one day. I don't know what I will do with all that time off this summer.

We've had major flooding this weekend. Wyoming County got hit hard, some areas of Raleigh County were hit. My parents basement flooded and the pump broke on Saturday morning. Max helped Dad put the new pump in.

Can't wait for True Blood to come out on DVD. Is it silly for me to get HBO just for season 2?

responsibility

The last few days I have had a chance to really think about life and the direction that mine is taking. It started on Easter Sunday when a relative told me that she was pregnant. I'm happy for her, if this is what she wants. I just wonder when it is going to be my turn. That sounds silly...I'm the one who is making decisions as to when I have children. I'm ready, Max is ready, but life keeps getting in the way. I have always been older than my true age, I've always felt this responsibility to do the right thing. I've always been told if I did the right thing and went to school and got a degree that I would have a better life. Better by whose standards though? Right now I am so stressed out with grad school and work that I truly don't care if I go back to work the rest of the school year. I have never felt that way. I'm tired of being responsible. For example I would love to go out west this summer but this stupid box that I have placed around myself won't let me. It is too out of my comfort zone. I'm so sick of school, maybe not school necessarily but definitely Marshall. I want to quit but keep telling myself to do the "right" thing. If I can get through school then I can have a child. If my stress level was down I would be happier. When is it going to end? When am I going to let it end I guess is a better question?

insert something witty here

Still going to the YMCA but not at 5:00 AM. After a stomach virus, sinus infection, Max working ridiculous hours, and midterms I kind of got off schedule. I'm still going three evenings a week for aerobics classes and trying to get back in the habit of 5:00 AM but it's gotten hard to do. I'm making progress, most nights my body feels like it has been hit by a truck. The body image issues are creeping back in and I am starting to watch every single bite that goes in my mouth. When that happens I have to take a step back and readjust my mind set or I know what will happen, especially since I found myself in the diet pill aisle not too long ago. When that happened I had to remind myself of those fateful words, "Irreversible damage to your heart". I guess we really don't know what we are doing to ourselves at 16 do we?

I'm re-reading the Twilight series. The first time I sped through them because I accidentally found out what happened in the end and wanted to see how it happened. I'm taking my time this go around.

ugh

Sometimes song lyrics say more than I could ever say...

"And I fear, my fear is greater than my faith but I walk the missionary way"

Stupid, stupid fear of everything. Stupid, stupid panic attacks.



That is all.

phonemes, morphemes, and graphemes, oh my!

If you can't tell by the title, grad school is sucking the life out of me. I have this pull in me to go west and am jealous to see that Joshua is doing so. I've been sick for two weeks. I guess that is what I get for bragging that I hadn't been sick this school year. First a stomach virus, now a sinus infection. I have a feeling we are about to go to year round school and I'm not real sure how I feel about that. Teachers have been getting some extremely bad press this legislative session. It is always front page stuff. Honestly don't know what I will do if we do go to year round school, they won't increase our pay that's for sure. They are trying to pass a bill that allows the state to not pay teachers when school is cancelled due to a snow day, and also one to regulate how teachers dress. And they wonder why they can't keep teachers in state... Like I said I really don't know what I will do if they go to year round schooling. The pay won't make it worth staying I can work other jobs and make just as much or more and have less headache. I'm looking forward to spring break, after that it is all down hill.

the art of disconnecting

I'm sitting here on the computer for the fifth evening in a row thinking about what people use to do with all their free time away from technology. Lately I want those days back. I get tired of staring at a screen all evening working on various homework or work related projects. Technology is great don't get me wrong but it has made many of us (me included) lazy. I use to play when I was a kid. I spent many days running around the farm with Amanda and swinging on the hay rope in the barn landing in huge bales of hay, feeding horses, or going swimming in the lake or river for that matter. Now people would look at you like you are crazy, everyone has allergies, or whatever. Everyone including pre-k students are "plugged in". I finally got text messaging on my phone and I admit I love it, but when I started to write my first paper for the class that I am in I found myself doing some of the things I do when typing a text message as my phone is equipped with a full qwerty keyboard. I was appalled at myself. It's ironic isn't it that I am complaining about technology when I am posting a blog. I just think there needs to be a balance is all and in America we aren't really balance kind of people. We do everything to the extreme whether it is laziness or being overworked. So, how do I disconnect?

spring fever

The last seven days have made me long for spring to return. I loved being able to put away the hats and gloves and all the other winter gear, not have to trudge through snow at 5:00 AM into the Y, being able to take the children outside. I knew it wouldn't last. Forecast for the rest of the week is SNOW. I dislike snow. It's beautiful to look at sure, but I don't enjoy the cold that comes along for the ride. I can't handle the cold. I can't stand to be cold. I don't know when that changed in me, when I was younger I couldn't take heat. I would get sick on many summer days from heat. Now the opposite happens, I literally get nauseas if I get too cold. Isn't that strange? Had a great Valentine's Day weekend. Max sent me flowers! We sat at home on Saturday and I cooked dinner and we watched a bunch of movies and just relaxed. It was so nice.

The Ways of Dying

Found this quote a few days ago and wanted to share as it stirred something in me...

"Do not grieve. Misfortunes will happen to the wisest and best of men. Death will come, always out of season. It is the command of the Great Spirit, and all nations and people must obey. What is past and what cannot be prevented should not be grieved for....Misfortunes do not flourish particularly in our lives-they grow everywhere."

Big Elk
Omaha Chief

Is all that we see or seem but a dream within a dream?

The crazy ass dreams have started again. *sigh* It has been a few months since I have been bothered by them. Some nights are better than others. Some dreams it takes me anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes after waking to realize that it was a dream, that whatever I dreamed about didn't happen, that my family is alright, and so forth. Others I realize as soon as I wake up that I was having a dream. Then there are some that are in some ways like a warning or that I am supposed to figure something out from them. Isn't that crazy? Maybe I am crazy. It kind of makes me feel crazy because there is only one other person who I know or have talked to that dreams the way I do and it is my Dad. Max rarely remembers his dreams but I tend to remember mine almost every night. Mom never remembers her dreams. What causes a person to have vivid dreams? What causes some people to be more prone to nightmares than others? When Max does remember his dreams they are never bad, mine are typically very disturbing.

thinking...

I've been considering changing grade levels next school year. I love teaching Pre-K and really do enjoy that age group of children there are some days that I feel like a baby-sitter. I love history and reading and would love to teach those more in depth than I get to currently. I think that I could if I got into the upper elementary grades, however that is when children are being required to take state standardized tests and so much teaching gets focused on trying to make AYP so that we aren't placed on probation. Maybe the grass isn't greener...

I guess I am going to have to make an appointment with a doctor soon. I was at the Y about a week ago and got finished on the rowing machine. I took a drink of water and Max walked over to talk to me. About then was when my hearing started to go. Then my vision started to get blurry with some black spots. To make a long story short I ended up blacking out for about a minute. A couple trainers came over and we determined it was an episode of hypoglycemia. Then on Sunday I did the same thing but before going to the Y. I purchased some glucose tablets at Kroger to keep in my purse hoping to deal with it before I get to the point of blacking out. Checked my blood sugar and it is running a little bit low even after eating.

jackson hole

Max and I are trying to decide on a vacation destination for this summer and want to do something different. Although different for us would honestly be going to the beach as we have never done that before. We have both been talking about going out west for a while like to Arizona or New Mexico but with it being a 30 hour drive and Max's fear of airplanes we will probably end up driving somewhere. I myself am partial to the idea of going to Jackson Hole, Wyoming and staying on a guest ranch or at a bed and breakfast. However if we are going to drive to Jackson Hole we may as well drive to Arizona. To drive to Jackson Hole would be a 28 hour drive. I just get so tired of saying "one day". One day time is going to be up and I will remember a 28 hour drive with Max to Wyoming versus saving our money because the economy is bad. This is not saying that I will make irresponsible choices because let's face it I am if nothing else always responsible. A lot of things have come up in recent years to make me realize how fast my life is passing away and how precious time really is. I never in a million years would have guessed that my Dad would have to have an organ transplant. I'm sure Matt thought that his Dad would be around for many more years to come. Life changes in an instant.

Anyway, this was supposed to be about vacations but it got twisted around. Any suggestions on where to go?

rambling on a snowy evening

It has felt nice to have three days off from work and selfishly I am hoping that the snow that is falling will continue and cause me to have four days off. It probably isn't likely since we have already used our allotted snow days for the school year. Every year we use all of our allotted snow days and every year it is headline news that we have yet again gone over our snow days. Why? Why is anyone shocked by this? We live in an area that is use to getting several inches of snow at once, sometimes several feet at once, and one that is rural with poor roads into said rural areas, so does it really need to be front page stuff? How about someone reports on all the gang related graffitti that has started popping up around town, I'm curious about that not about snow days.

Oh well, I am at least hoping for a delay that way I won't have to get up at 5-Oh-My-God-o'clock in the morning to go the the Y before I go teach the youth of America their ABC's. Yes, I am getting up before the moon has even left the sky to go to the local YMCA to whip my butt back in shape. Max, surprisingly, is coming along with me with minimal complaining. That probably isn't even fair to say as I don't think he has truly complained once, he actually seems kind of excited about it. It feels good to be worn out at the end of the day. I am sleeping better, and more alert during the work day. My favorite thing to do is the rowing machine, Max can't hang with me on it though. He had never rowed a boat until we got together, sad I know.