changes

Today is the first day that it has felt like September all month. This weekend we had temps here above 80 and yesterday was about as humid as a typical day in July or August would be. Today however is different. I can smell autumn in the air, the air is crisper, cleaner in a way. I have socks on my feet for the first time in months except for when I go walking. The air conditioner is off. I feel the change in the season and also in myself.

A good friend's mother passed away last week and the memorial service was this weekend. It was hard to deal with. I've grown up with this lady and often times she was like my second Mom. She shaped me in ways I hadn't realized until I stopped to think about them. I think she had a lot to do with my love of animals especially horses, and I'm sure she is the reason that I have always and still to this day want to own a horse. When Max and I were looking at that house in Ghent I knew we would have enough acerage to have a horse and she was the immediate person I thought to call if we bought the house. In her obituary it was written that she lived life on her terms and that got me to thinking that no one could write that about me if I died right now. Instead it would be written that I lived life very much inside of a box and always did the right thing and what was expected of me. That is not what I want my obituary to say. So today I let go of a lot of things. I let go of some more fear and worry. I realize that my job is simply that...a job, it pays my bills. My job should not and no longer will define who I am and my worth as a person.

Now I just hope that I will be blessed with more time to live and that I haven't wasted the years I have been given. No more regrets.

horoscopes

I always enjoy when my horoscope closely resembles true life and today's did just that.

"Don't be surprised if you find yourself feeling a little restless right now, and you'll probably be busy dealing with all sorts of things around the house today. You might even be starting to think about the possibility of moving right now. And it probably would be a good idea to start giving a little bit of thought to improving your domestic situation in any way you can."

I haven't been able to shut my mind off the last few days especially at night. I have a running list in my head of all the stuff I need to or would like to get done. I have also been really thinking about a house Max and I went to see a couple of weeks ago. It was our favorite out of all that we saw and it really felt like home when we walked in. I felt comfortable there. Hmmm....makes me ponder our situation even more.

First two weeks of school have been utterly exhausting. One very wise 5th grade teacher said to me the other day, "Jobe ain't got nothing on you". I was definitely blessed with a lot of patience, which is good considering the age level that I teach. Needless to say I am ready for the weekend, I need to rest.